Three Rules

I live by three rules.

TT: I actually live by 100s of rules. I like rules. I need structure. I consider the 10 Commandments a good starting point. I would have made a great Pharisee. Except I’m a girl. And a Gentile. And Protestant. Anyhoo…

If I were an optimist, I’d couch my rules in positive terms, such as “Do this.” I’m not an optimist. I’m a cynic. That’s an optimist who can be taught. I wish wonderful things were true, but they aren’t (in this life, anyway) and I’m tired of wishing for them. Were I a pessimist, I wouldn’t bother with rules because I’ll just break them anyway and what difference does it make?

Clear as mud? Let’s move on.

My cynicism means I couch my rules in negative terms. But today, just for you, I’ll be positive. I’ll also list them in reverse order.

Rule 3: Take every opportunity to use the restroom.

I don’t care if you were in one 15 minutes ago. Go again. Life is uncertain. This little axiom applies to all the rules, BTW.

Rule 2: Take every opportunity to eat.

I learned this as a poor college student. I haven’t been in college for quite a while (a whole person who can vote, actually) but I continue to live by it. Probably because I grew into a poor former-college-student. Fortunately, I’ve added the corollary “share food when reasonable.”

TT: Some of my friends are now yelling at the computer, “Robynn doesn’t share food!” They’re right. Mostly. Once it’s on my plate, you touch, you get forked. They have the scars to prove it. But up to that moment, I am willing to give you a chance to get some. My problem is gluttony, not greed. I will share before I take. Not after. What did you expect? I’m a turtle.

Rule 1: Always say “thank you.”

Gratitude is the greatest power we have on this earth. It is the one gift we can give freely, without worrying about replacement costs or exchange rates. We can even give it to God, and guess what? He wants it.

“Thank you” is the quickest way I know to bring a smile to a harried store clerk’s face. Or to get an extra helping of roast beast in the buffet line.

TT: Sorry. That was bit self-serving. But gratitude is as good for you as it is for the other person.

A grateful heart brings health to your bones, a shine to your hair and friends to your bedside. No matter how dark and gloomy the world around you, give thanks for what you have, who you are and Who you know.  Grandma Turtle continues to remind me you can always find someone with less.

Thank you, Jesus, for directing my life and saving my soul. Thank you, new colleagues here at NAF, for your encouragement and your faith in my ability to learn. Thank you, dear readers, for your support and patience. Some things come easier to this Turtle than others.

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. Psalm 100 KJV

About Robynn Tolbert

Born in Kansas and born again at age six, Robynn has published two novels and started her third. Robynn, aka Ranunculus Turtle, lives in Kansas with a clowder of cats, a patient dog and a garden.

7 comments on “Three Rules

  1. This is actually a silly beautiful post. I love both of those things with a passion, Princess Turtle. Thank you. 😛

  2. You did a wonderful job being positive! I didn’t realize that we shared the same three rules here! Wonder what else we have in common. :o)

  3. I think we’re growing on her. We’re “colleagues” now and not “the collective.” I think the assimilation is complete.

  4. I think these are a few rules I need to adopt myself. 😀 I’ll be honest, I would have never guessed you were a cynic by what little I know of you. You always seem to upbeat. Then again, that might just be dry wit. Hmmm…

  5. My grinning turtle icon is working. Mwahahahaha!

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