I hate making decisions.
You might think this odd considering the one major life decision I’ve made ensures I’ll be making all other major life decisions all by myself, but that illustrates my point. I hate making decisions so much I usually don’t, which is a decision, and accept the consequences of the less active choice rather than risk making a mistake.
OK, that sentence may be a bit much for early Monday. My apologies.
I have this big decision to make, you see. I thought I’d made it. Turns out maybe not. Not only do I have to revisit the issue and redecide on the original decision, but I’ve added some alternative decisions along with all their possible outcomes to weigh and possibly blow. Oh, and I have a deadline of two days. Always fun.
My Dear Friend admitted these are the kinds of decisions she hands off to her husband. Since I don’t have that option, she let me borrow hers for four minutes via cell phone. He gave some good advice. So did my second dad and my second and a half dad. All the advice is contradictory.
Sigh.
I’ve told God its His decision and He’s going to have to make it clear because I’m too stupid and stressed out to decipher puzzles. I have every confidence in His ability to do so. He made the universe. He can make me understand His will when I’m looking for it.
I could tell you the decision (it’s not a big secret or anything) but I don’t think I can handle more advice, even though Solomon says wisdom is found in a multitude of counselors and a wise man considers the cost before he starts to build.
All I can say is I’m already tired of the whole thing and just wish it were over. Since I made and acted on one decision this weekend, I can remove that factor from my calculations. I only have four to go.
Prayers are appreciated.
How do you make big decisions? Guys, do you usually get the last word and thus all the blame? Ladies, are you happy to let them have it?
The New Authors Fellowship 
Robynn,
Sometimes, God has made the answers to certain hard, but necessary decision opportunities very clear, but I waffled anyway. I’d like to take this opportunity to say, “Please don’t do that to yourself!”
Like you mentioned, I haven’t always been shown the answer, and my waiting and begging God for that answer has led to interesting situations where the answer only became clear in rear-view mirror of life, and of course, not doing anything at all was clearly the worst decision I could have made. Any decision at all would have been better than my refusing to move forward.
I used to get really upset about that (God! It’s all your fault! Why didn’t you answer me?), but I’ve have come to the conclusion that 1) God expects us to use our brains, and 2) research is always a much better choice than hand-wringing. And, 3) that God sends us through trials to build character. Sometimes He doesn’t give us an answer, or we get that sinking feeling in our guts as we realize He wants us to experience a trial we feel looming (and learn something important from it).
Sometimes it helps to diagram available choices and their potential consequences, and then talk to God about them. If He doesn’t make the choice clear and it has to be made in a timely manner, then I believe that it is also possible to choose by prioritizing the options based on which are most profitable, not just to me, but to others, and most likely to bring glory to God, and eliminating the choices that are least profitable, not just to myself, but to others, and least likely to bring God glory.
And sometimes, it’s necessary to put the options on slips of paper, throw them in a bowl, stir them around, close your eyes and trust God to guide your hand to pick the option He will bless. It says in Proverbs 16:33 that He will do this.
I’m liking the slips of paper idea. Of course, I could pull out my personal Urim and Thummim (otherwise known as a 20d) and let God speak.
chuckle.
Thanks for taking the time to talk me through it.
The slip of paper idea is good. Reminds me somewhat of what I used to do: Flip a coin. Same basic concept. If there’s more than a single option, the paper thing would probably work better. But here’s where you really get down to it: Once you resolve to go with the decision made for you by chance, look at it.
Did you hesitate? Then choose the remaining option instead. The point in my doing it this way was always to force myself to go with my gut. Whether you want to admit it or not, there are always several forces at work in the decision-making process. Sometimes, if you examine the option, there is clearly a “right” decision based upon your principals and what you know of what God wants for you to do.
Sometimes, ethics and morals don’t come into it at all. In that case, chances are, you really DO have a preference, but are simply afraid to trust yourself. By giving it up to chance, what you’re really doing is a gut check. If Chance hands you option B, and you think it might be wrong, then you know what you need to do.
Speaking of being wrong… it’s going to happen. Daily. At some point, you have to choose, and that’s all there is to it. Fear of failure holds us back. Decisions are hard when there’s risk involved, but life without risk is boring and unfulfilled. There are things, looking back, I wish I’d done differently, but there are also risks I wish I’d taken.
It’s also important to remember that God is a Big God. While He will often put opportunities and choices in front of you and wait for you to choose the right one, not every choice we make is that way. There will be many, many times in our lives that God has no vested interest at all in the decision we make — even in some of those that WE believe are of vital importance. Because, in those cases, right or wrong, He can still work His will in our lives.
No words of wisdome here – I gave you my answer when we called JB. Hehehhehehe. Just wanted to say you crack me up, thanks for being you Robynn!
In the past I’ve tended to go to logic first and prayer second, which is of course backward. I’m getting better about praying first. I’ve also learned — only very recently, as it happens — that the “path of least resistance” often is NOT God’s path, and that in fact the one that’s His often has quite a lot of resistance.
As for my other half, he has rarely made a major decision I disagreed with. We usually come to a consensus in the discussion phase. So we have it good.
All excellent advice.
The decision was made. I almost instantly regretted it, but it was too late to change it. A few hours later I discovered it was the right decision, but I still have to do the other stuff, too. Probably.
Basically, it was the Kobiashi Maru. Screwed no matter what.
Thanks, everybody. God is greater than circumstance.