Afraid to Begin

You know what you need to do.

I sigh and continue scrolling down the page on my laptop. I’m getting pretty good at ignoring my conscience, at least when it comes to my WIP.

You are wasting precious time.

I groan. My conscience isn’t letting up. I look across the room. My manuscript is sitting on my desk in its new binder. And where am I? I am on the couch on Facebook. I know I need to be working. I even promised myself I would start today. So why am I sitting here on Facebook, thinking about putting it off until tomorrow? Good question.

writing-typewriter-paperballs-ss-800x450You see, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what’s inside of that new binder. It’s my first draft. It’s years of work compiled into two hundred and thirty pages. Part of me wants to dive right in there and start ripping it apart, making it better layer by layer. But I’m a perfectionist and that side of me is afraid, that even after all the work, I’ll come up short. I’ll fail. What if the story in my head isn’t what comes out on the page? What if no one wants to read it?

I’ve noticed that fear can paralyze me and make me miss out on living life the way God intends for me to.

2 Timothy 1:7 says:

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

I know God has called me to write. I know this because as often as I’ve tried to walk away from it, he’s drawn me back every time. If God wants me to write, then he also wants me not to have a spirit of fear about it. I can write and edit, trusting God is working. Does that mean I’m guaranteed to become the next Tosca Lee? No. It just means that I’m doing the work God has asked me to do today and that’s enough.

Louis L’Amour said:

“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.”

I’ll never fix what needs to be fixed if I don’t begin.
So, I have a choice in front of me. I can continue to put things off out of fear or I can trust God and set out to do the work he’s given me to do.

Is there something you’ve been afraid to begin? Why not pray about it and get to work?


About Brittany Valentine

Saved by grace, sibling one of eight, part-timer by day, speculative fiction writer by night. Working on a series called The Chronicles of Aura.

8 comments on “Afraid to Begin

  1. Yep. Lately I’ve developed a bad habit of procrastination, and fighting it is really difficult.

  2. My issue is more perfecting things, rigorously and ruthlessly, and then never showing people. Because it could always be better.

  3. That’s the truth, isn’t it? 🙂

  4. I find all sorts of things to fear, even something as ridiculous as finishing my nove, not to mention posting my first blog, asking people to be beta readers, and talking to editors. Writing is not for the faint of heart!

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