Roach Hunt

Anyone who’s read my post Invasion knows how I feel about cockroaches. I can take the living far away from family, the hot weather and the no chance of snow skiing (a sport I loved doing with my family growing up). I can even tolerate the perpetual sunburns and swarms of mosquitoes. I just wish these creepy critters would stay out of my house.

Instead, since I wrote that post, the number of intruders has drastically increased. We’ve been in this house for three years and we have never had so many.

Granted it doesn’t compare to Krysti’s evil fountain, but it has definitely gotten out of hand for me. In less than twenty-four hours we had eight separate incidences. My sister-in-law has come to visit and had never seen one before in her life. The first night she was here, we had three or four killings right in front of her.

One turned up in the girls’ room. That hunt lasted two hours and involved stripping the bunkbed of bedding and both mattresses. We were still cleaning up at 11 pm, with all the kids still up.

So I called in the cavalry.

My sister-in-law has four boys. The oldest is nine. All it took was, “Two dollars to anyone who kills the cockroach and cleans it up!”

Now each time one turns up the kids practically climb over each other to participate in the smashing and toilet-flushing funeral. The younger ones break down in to fits if they don’t get to help.

20120615-011029.jpgToday they found one who had tucked itself at the top of the two-story vaulted ceiling. You should have seen the rush to find shoes and brooms and cups. They grabbed pillows and booster seats, anything to help them scale the wall and reach the critter.

I vetoed the idea of throwing things at it, since that wall has glass picture frames and a computer nestled in each corner.

They still spent nearly an hour fixated by it. “Everyone be quiet so it’ll come down.” “Well the last one came out with music playing, so let’s play music.” “What if we turned off all the lights?” “Let’s all yell and scare it down.”

Half hour past midnight and that thing is still holed up in that corner. It writhes and turns in circles but hasn’t ventured more than three inches from that spot.

I almost feel sorry for the sorely outnumbered thing.


Too bad they’re nocturnal. Most sightings are after their bedtime.

Meanwhile, the highly sought coins passed out for bounties?

They’re soon strewn across the house, ownership disputed or forgotten altogether, left behind for my carpet creeping seven month old to hunt.

About Ren Black

Part-time novelist. Weekend artist. Full-time Mother. Ex-poet. Perfectionist by training. Compulsive researcher sporadically. Prone to fits of linguistic commentary Unorthodox Renegade occasionally. Sarcastic by habit... Dreamer Always... Consider Yourself Warned

8 comments on “Roach Hunt

  1. You’re very generous. My kids get a nickel for killing bugs. Or a dime if it’s a cricket that’s coming right for me and I’m squealing like a girl, “KILL IT! KILL IT! I’ll give you TWO nickels! JUST KILL IT!!!”

    • Lol!
      Well, for what it’s worth I don’t pay for the death of any other types of bugs, or even small roaches.

      The bounty probably just reflects my own level of intimidation, not generosity.

      • I can totally understand that.
        Earlier today I was walking down the hall and I saw movement. This is kinda how it went:
        Me (in high-pitched, panicked screeching): CRICKET! CRICKET!!!!!
        Then the thing scurried rather than hopped away.
        Loud sigh of relief.
        In a normal voice: Oh, it’s just a lizard.

  2. Laughing… 😉 Your poor roaches will never understand what has hit them!

  3. I hate spraying bug spray in the house so I use Billy May’s Gopher-It reach tool to grab them and if it’s daylight I feed them to the big lizards. Otherwise, I had a little kid’s fishing net or bug net and let them crawl into it and it seems to put them in to a trance (sometimes) and I carry them outside and dump them by a lizard. At night, I just fling them out the front door as far as I can throw. The problem has gotten worse since we started storing extra boxes in the garage while our son is in college and my wife in between jobs. Ugh… Sigh…

    • Now there’s some good ideas… Lizards are a tempting. Too bad this rental doesn’t allow pets…

      Thanks for checking this out and sharing, Steve!

  4. […] resides on site. I fear that if the kids find my ambition first they might mistake it for another invading cockroach and finish it […]

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