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5 Reasons Why I’m a Bad Influence

Photo by Gretchen E.K. Engel

  1. I fed my kids pie for dinner

    Yes, you read that right. I fed my kids pie for dinner last night. Did I mention the crust is made with butter and lard? That’s not low-fat ice cream either but Blue Bell vanilla bean. We might have had some sushi and warm crusty bread too. But I’m calling that appetizers.

  2. My kids have a crude sign in their bathroom

    There’s a brown sign over their toilet that says, “caution: poopin’ in progress”. We also bought our son also a poop emoji pillow. While I can make witty literary quips, I also enjoy goofy tween humor too. My kids are endless fountains of humor. They’re also getting to that age when I can embarrass them and take full advantage. Truth: if I think they’ll really be embarrassed, I respect that and refrain. I’m not a total mom-ster.

  3. The first warm day I call “water fight” (and then wuss out)

    Ever since junior high school, I’ve always been up for a water fight. While other girls sat on the sidelines keeping their Aqua Net plastered hair in place, I was the one who pulled back her massive permed hair and got wet. Super Soakers came out the summer after my freshman year in college. I took my first paycheck and bought one. Once the weather hits about 80F here (usually in May), I’ll call water fight and send my kids outside to soak each other. Usually, I join in but have been known to go out for about five minutes, get wet, and then run inside to taunts of “wuss”. I own my wimpiness about being cold and wet.

  4. I often keep silent when things happen

    Whether it’s a celebrity death, a school shooting, a natural disaster, or terrorist attack, I rarely post anything on social media. It’s not that I’m unfeeling. I just I don’t feel I have anything to add to the narrative. I like using social media for personal interaction. I don’t feel the need to clog people’s feed with more chatter.

  5. I post about health and fitness – a lot

    Oddly, some of my most controversial posts have been about health and fitness. I post a lot about eating right and exercise. It’s something I truly believe in. Not that it’s a cure for all health issues. Not that it guarantees a clean bill of health. I never use it to “fat shame” people. Just the opposite. By nature, I’m an encourager! I love cheering friends on who’ve lost weight, completed races, set goals and achieved them, managed a health conditions, etc. I find I feel better because I eat right and exercise. Besides, it’s how I can allow “pie for dinner” to be a thing.

How are you a “bad influence”?

About Gretchen E K Engel

Chemical engineer by day, spec fiction writer by night

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