I didn’t want to write today.
I’ve been really struggling recently with trying to figure out what my my next step looks like. Of course, some of my next steps are pretty obvious. I need to finish editing book one and get to book two! But there’s other things that I worry about too, things like:
Where am I going to live after I leave home? I mean, I have to leave home at some point, right? 😉
What am I going to accomplish in the next five years? Will I land a publishing contract? Get married? Move? Finally become someone who can string three intelligible sentences together in a row when speaking? Did I spell intelligible right?
Should I go full-time at work? Would I still have time to write? Shouldn’t I be writing now?
I’ve realized, especially recently, that I’ve let these sorts of questions and worries build up so much in my life that I wasn’t getting anything done that I needed to do, other than cleaning up my writing space. This is writer’s code for procrastinating on the actual writing part, right?
I let it build up so much that my “Next step” questions had become points of worry and anxiety, sapping any joy from my life. I’m definitely the sort of person who needs a plan. Give me a plan and watch me run! But what happens when I don’t have the plan, when I can’t see the road map for the next five years of my life?
I should probably just go all Denethor and mope around despondently. 😉 Totally kidding here.
“Does it make sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depended on one person’s seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next.” ― Elisabeth Elliot
Today I didn’t want to write. Today I wanted to figure out a plan, but today I did something different. I did the things I knew I had to do, even the little things that I could easily have put off until tomorrow.
So, I don’t have an exact road map for the next five years. What I do have are the things I need to do and finish today and that’s enough.
Am I advocating not having any plans? Absolutely not! I may not have an exact plan for the next five years but I’m pretty sure I can trust Someone Who does.
I read these verses today:
“The plans of the heart belong to man,
but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.” Proverbs 16:1
“Commit your work to the Lord,
and your plans will be established.” Proverbs 16:3
“The heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
Instead of letting worry and anxiety sap my life of any joy, I’m going to work on the things I have set directly in front of me today.
I took some pics of what today looked like for me. Yep, that’s ramen and a pudding cup you’re seeing. I also wrote on my bed instead of at the desk…
What’s a day in your life look like?
How do you find joy in the day to day?