I’m a sucker for those Facebook Quizzes and memes based on things like your initials and birthday. My favorite is one that gives all kinds of options of things to do with famous or infamous people from books, movies, and TV such as the dreaded “go to prison with Voldemort.” Mine is fantastic – “Rule the world with Dean Winchester.”
For those not familiar with the TV show “Supernatural”, Dean and Sam Winchester are brothers who drive around the country in a Chevy Impala named “Baby” listening to fantastic music (think Sirious-XM’s Classic Rewind) and ganking demons and other supernatural lifeforms.
In light of the election prospects, I’ve come up with an option for those threatening to leave the U.S. for other first world nations or tropical islands. I’ll fulfill my sketchy claim as Co-Dominator with a fictional character.
The new capital will be moved to the geographically appropriate Pie Town, New Mexico, which is located on the Continental Divide. While not exactly centrally located, our water supply will be equitably distributed.
Why Pie Town? If you’ve followed my posts and/or Facebook page that should be obvious. If not, check out my post about Realm Makers, Fangirling, where I gratuitously featured a photo of one of my “Facebook famous” cherry pies, which I sometimes spell “pi” since I’ve featured top crusts with a pi symbol or cutouts of 3.114159. I was out-of-town for “Pi Day” this year but naturally made one last year for 03.14.15, 9:26. If you’re a fan of “Supernatural”, you’ll know I don’t have to worry about my Co-Dominator disagreeing about the importance of pie.
We would keep the national anthem, but “Hail to the Chief” would be replaced by “Carry On My Wayward Son” by the sort of patriotic (it’s named after a heartland state) band, Kansas.
Now the whole alien thing could get a bit sticky. While Pie Town is on the opposite side of the state as Roswell, the Very Large Array (VLA) is within an hour’s drive. We could have some immigrant issues. We’ll do our best to keep them out but if there’s two things extraterrestrials love it’s pie and phoning home. Well, there’s Reese’s Pieces. I can’t speak for Dean, but there won’t be any on my desk in the Rectangular Office. Sorry, but I’m an engineer, and I want to rule from a room with a practical shape.
So if you’re not happy with this year’s election choices, I think my utopia fits the American ideal: of moms (I’m a mom), apple pie (although cherry is better), and Chevrolet. Now all we have to get is a baseball team.