My husband had surgery last Friday. No, don’t worry, it wasn’t for anything big. He had a umbilical hernia that the docs needed to go in a sew up and slap a little mesh on. It was an outpatient procedure–we were only there for about 6 hours. In fact, the recovery is going to be a bigger pain in the rear than the surgery itself.
While I was there, I did learn a few things I didn’t know before and thought I would share them with you all because, seriously, they’re pretty big light bulb moments (okay, maybe not so much).
1. I should never have assumed that spending 6 hours at the hospital would mean I could get any editing done. Half the time was spent going from place to place or thinking I only had 30 minutes because that’s what the doc said, and then finding 30 minutes really meant 2 hours. Yep. I brought along a client’s manuscript to work on. I think I managed 10 pages. Progress is progress, though, right?
2. People actually talk to each other in the waiting room. Well, some people. Loud people. Loud people who tell the same stories to every person that comes in. Loud people who tell the same stories and talk right across you to that new person. Loud people who tell the same stories and make you want to whack them upside the head with your laptop, which is open and you’re obviously trying to work from. *deep breath*
3. Sometimes the doctors and nurses are too lazy to walk the halls to talk to you. So, they installed a nifty little phone in the waiting room. It rings and people look around like there’s a magic phone booth that is ringing, but they normally never ring so what are you supposed to do? It’s kind of funny. Until the person who answered the phone turns around and says, “Burke family?”
4. Turns out hospital time is just like military time or publishing time. 30 minutes does NOT equal 30 minutes. It equals whatever they darn well decide it means. It could be 45 minutes, it could be an hour and a half. And if you decide to call them to ask what’s going on, they can make it ANOTHER 30 minutes. And they’ll tell you that your husband is having issues waking up and needs oxygen just to make you squirm during that extra 30 minutes.
5. There’s a conspiracy between the hospital and the road people. My husband had a surgery that makes every jiggle of his stomach hurt pretty bad. So, what happens on the way home? I manage to find every single pothole. And at times when I can’t swerve to avoid them. AND THEN there’s some kind of accident on the way home that has traffic backed up and moving slowly for about 2 miles. We get up there and where’s the accident? There was none! Instead, it was some weird fire on the side of the road.
6. As it turns out, I can lift more than 10 lbs. with my bad shoulder. I proved that several times over the weekend as I helped my husband get from sitting to standing. Yay!
So, those are the essentials from my experience with my husband’s surgery. I hope you all learned something that will help you be better prepared the next time you have a loved one in surgery. Thank you and have a great week!
Any of you have any unusual or annoying hospital visits? Please share!