I can’t take your pain

My friends are in pain. Family members have died. One has an incapacitating autoimmune disease. Another has breast cancer. Yet another has a confounding set of symptoms and no diagnosis.

More than I can count have depression.

One morning while I was praying for a friend who was going through an unusually painful flare-up of rheumatoid arthritis, I considered how fortunate I am that my own illnesses, though varied and occasionally painful, are not debilitating.

This isn’t fair. Why should I get off easy? Lord, take some of her pain and put it on me. I can take—


Photo © evgenyatamanenko • Fotolia

Photo © evgenyatamanenko • Fotolia

Have you ever had the Spirit just cut you off in the middle of a prayer? Just nope, you’re not allowed to pray that one.

The same Spirit who will intercede for us when we don’t know how to pray, will also tell us when our prayers are inappropriate.

The same God who says “my grace is sufficient for you” also says “my grace is sufficient for your friend.” When the pain can’t be taken away, God nevertheless gives us the fortitude to endure it. Or, as one of my friends put it recently, he carries you through it.

I believe very firmly that prayer is effective. Earlier this year, on a day I was scheduled to teach, I had a blistering headache. My headaches are frequent, related to my osteoarthritis—they start in my neck and work their way up to my head and into my shoulder and back. They usually rate a four or five on a scale of ten. I rarely let them keep me down, and I have several medications of varying power I can take singly or in combination for them. The problem is that when the headache goes to eleven, the drug combination that will knock it down to a manageable level also makes it unsafe for me to drive. So I couldn’t take that until after I got home from class.

I put a prayer request on Facebook requesting that I get enough relief to be able to teach. I put a hot pack on my neck and continued preparing for class. By the time I got to the church, I was still in pain, but it had come down from eleven to about maybe an eight. Several people there had seen my note and asked how I was doing. “Better.”

While I was teaching, in the midst of serving the church with my gift, I have no memory of pain.

Mind you, when I got home, the heavy hitters came out.

I fully believe that the prayers of my friends and the power of the Spirit got me through that evening. But I know God wouldn’t punish my friends by transferring my pain to them, just as he wouldn’t put their pain on me.

He took it on himself.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.— Romans 8:26 (NRSV)


About Kristen Stieffel

Kristen Stieffel is a writer and freelance editor specializing in speculative fiction. She's a member of the Editorial Freelancers Association, Christian Editor Connection, and American Christian Fiction Writers.

6 comments on “I can’t take your pain

  1. Kristen- a very meek humble post. That was so beautiful.
    I am so sorry for the health problems you and those you know are going through. I do believe in the power of prayer. I was healed by a multitude of prayers friom lt ventricular myopathy which showed my heart muscle functioning at 52 % which I was told is not good when your heart muscle is that damaged. Then couple years later, was admitted to hospital with pneumonia and congestive heart failure. After sending out prayer requests on both matters. My heart muscle which showed permanent damage was now functioning at 72%. Was in the normal range. Healed . And my Congrestive heart failure disappeared healed no more fluid around my heart or in my chest. My heart was normal size again. There are other examples but won’t mention them here. Suffice to say that we can only really learn to pray best when we have someone or something to pray for. And in order to understand and help others we must know what suffering feels like. It’s not a punishment t as much as I believe we might never pray without trials that bring us to our knees. God answered and He appreciates your requests for others and yourself, as much as He appreciates your thankfulness.
    Your post was an inspiration. Another by product if trials.

  2. Beautiful post and great perspective. Sometimes we forget that God has a plan and more often than we care to admit, He doesn’t need us to execute it. As a person inclined toward action, it’s difficult to concede that sometimes the most powerful force of contribution lies not in my ability to help, but rather in my ability to pray for divine intervention.

  3. Thoughtful post, Kristen. Thank you for the reminder that the Holy Spirit intercedes when we don’t know what to pray, or start veering off course. Prayer is powerful, praise God for that mercy to us!

  4. Fear not for IAM with you always and,
    God’s grace is sufficient, always.

    Praise God the Father, Jesus His Son and our Blessed Holy Spirit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: