Mickey Mouse for governor

Why didn’t I think of that?

The Orange County Florida Supervisor of Elections compiles a list of all the “invalid write-in names” entered on ballots. To be valid, a write-in candidate must register with the supervisor for a specific race. That ensures we don’t elect someone who is unwilling to serve.

No word on whether Mr. Mouse would serve if elected.

© Disney

© Disney

The governor’s race here was very close, with incumbent Rick Scott (with 48.2 percent of the votes) narrowly edging out former governor Charlie Crist (47 percent). Nevertheless, that means that almost 5 percent of the people in the state wanted someone other than one of these two jokers in the office.

Yeah, I’m in that five percent. I wasn’t clever enough to vote for Mr. Mouse, even though he’s the region’s largest employer. I voted for a Libertarian candidate.

But 73 of my fellow Orange County residents voted for “None of the Above.” I hadn’t thought of that option, either.

The race for chair of the school board was particularly stupid, and reveals much voter frustration. There was one candidate, the incumbent, a career politician whose performance in the role is largely unremarkable. He’s not a terrible school board chair. Nevertheless, more than 600 of my neighbors wrote in something like “None of the above” or “anyone else,” including one who put “almost literally anyone else.”

A couple of real, actual people also garnered hundreds of votes for the office, but as they were unregistered, they show up as “invalid.”

Mr. Mouse also got 201 votes for the school board job.

I think what most of us were incensed about is not the incumbent’s competence or lack thereof, but that no one even bothered trying to run against him. An election in which there is only one choice is even more irritating than an election in which there are only two choices.

The supervisor of elections’ report demonstrates the frustration of independent voters like myself at this pathetic status quo. Have a look at the list. Some of the write-in candidates are hilarious. Next time I’m face with a nonchoice like this, I’m totally writing in Disney characters.

And no, I don’t see that as a “wasted vote.” No vote is a waste. It registers one’s opinion, whether it’s for one candidate or against another, or just a registration of disgust at the absurdity of the two-party system.


About Kristen Stieffel

Kristen Stieffel is a writer and freelance editor specializing in speculative fiction. She's a member of the Editorial Freelancers Association, Christian Editor Connection, and American Christian Fiction Writers.

4 comments on “Mickey Mouse for governor

  1. Why don’t you run, Kristen? I’m sure you’d make a better candidate than either of these incumbents.

    • LOL maybe so. But I doubt my motivation. Plus, there are soooo many other things I’d rather do with my time. Which maybe is why everyone in politics is so useless. All the smart people are doing better things with their time.

  2. A friend used to say – reverently to God, sarcastically to political man – “When they put Jesus Christ on the ballot, I’ll vote for Him.” I think he meant as a *valid entry and a serious one, for while Jesus Christ (and also “Jehovah God”, etc.) *did show up on the list you give us, His was an invalid entry.

    My position is straightforward. I’m an ambassador of another Kingdom. An ambassador doesn’t get involved in the politics and wars of his host country. Rather, he represents the policies of the country which sent him. Among those policies is a definite set of principles as to how human governance should be set up and run in the first place. Would that we followed them.

  3. Kristen- I’m sorry I had to laugh so hard at such idiocy. I’m glad you provided a list as it brought home a trend I see, feel, hear and perceive most fearfully. Yet, I know the why’s where’s and who’s where the culmination of all these negotiable behaviors are coming from.
    It has been a slow decline of our bureaucracy. When Germany is more respected and abjectly referred to as a nation who is number one now, in the eyes of favor, we are losing ground. With all this ever increasing insanity, I feel people are just fed up with all politicians and politics as rule. Everyone that was to be the nation’s savior has failed in one way or another.Some of the names on the list reflect a sarcasm that seems to pervade through our country.
    If Christ was legitimately on the list, I”d vote for Him. Because aside from the Creator Himself, no one will ever fill His shoes or ability to govern rightly. I feel that people are basically saying what difference does it make anyway? No one is fixing anything no how no way.
    So Kristen, perhaps you could toss your hat into the ring and see what happens. Beware that the job might require you to be willing to promise the moon but only deliver a space rock!
    Cute post

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