Oh, yes. We were discussing sabotage. Eating clothes, not just because they’re tasty, but because they destroy our victims from the inside, breaking their will and tearing them down.
However, that’s only a start. One of our biggest assets is leading the humans in other directions. For example, when we eat clothes, we blame it on someone else. Any more, almost no one even knows we eat clothes. All the time, the humans sound shocked to find out this is what we do. Keeping this secret is a full-time job for our PR department.
Ah, I know what you’re thinking. How do we manage?
There are many ways, but I’ll share with you the two most important.
First, misdirection. Let me explain what I mean. Years ago, when the war was going in our favor, we had a troop stationed in a man’s closet. Well, he started to get wise to our tactics. The man started to get the word out about us, comparing us to the locusts in the book of Exodus. Clearly, something had to be done.
So, we allied ourselves with a group of moths. Moths like clothes, too, although for them it’s more just about the flavor than the war tactics. Well, we invited them into our lair, and told them they could have the closet. Needless to say, when that man found a nest of moths in his hole-ridden clothes, he placed the blame solely on them. I tell ya, the best invention we ever had for our side was mothballs. They don’t bother us, but the humans putting trust in them to get rid of moths frees us up for a lot of damage.
But that’s not all. No, the other job our PR department works on is propaganda. Not the negative kind you hear about so often, but positive propaganda. We just needed a few good stories to counteract the bad ones. For a long time, all the stories about us were fables that involved ants. We were a laughing stock, the moral of a story, and badly disliked. That had to change. We needed some opposite fable,s tales that people would repeat. Let me give you an example. A long time ago in China, one of our ancestors had the idea to associate us with luck. It took careful, strategic planning, but he and his army positioned themselves around the humans in specific places and at specific times, like during war or when a valuable item had been lost. Those crickets chirped before and during the most memorable moments, when a battle was won, when an item was found, when something good happened, and before long the humans began to associate a cricket’s chirp with good luck. We got put in a couple proverbs, then, and ever since people have the notion that we represent good luck. They don’t kill us because they want that good luck we supposedly bring.
Another strategic maneuver was getting in Pinocchio. That was a stroke of genius. Late one night while a writer scratched away at a manuscript, a cricket whispered in his ear, giving him the idea to insert a cricket as a good, wise, benevolent character. Behold, now the humans see us as wise and moral.
So, just remember, this battle is a long-standing war, and some of our greatest tools are misdirection and propaganda more than frontal assault.