Melting Down

meltingSometimes there’s just too much.

Too much drama. Too much going on. Too many expectations. Too many distractions. Too many delays.

Too many things, one on top of the next, piling up, overwhelming everything.

Sometimes I get buried. Sometimes it’s more than I can take, and every little feather that floats onto the pile feels like an anvil. And every once in a very great while, I have a complete meltdown.

I don’t like me when I’m angry. I’m not pretty. I yell, I cry, I say things I regret, and sometimes make the people I love cry, too.

And when that happens, I look in the metaphorical mirror and see a raging monster. I see myself through the eyes of my kids who I’ve hurt, and they see a hulk, a Mr. Hyde who is totally out of control.

One of the hardest things in the world is to pull your children into your arms when you’ve lost control and apologize to them for losing control and ask them to forgive you.

The upside is that God is gracious. He forgives me. And he gave me beautiful, sweet children with big hearts and forgiving spirits.

And one of the most beautiful things in the world is to hold a whole litter of children in your arms who are crying and giving you kisses and saying, “I forgive you, Mommy. I love you.”

About Avily Jerome

Avily Jerome is a writer and the editor of Havok Magazine. Her short stories have been published in various magazines, both print and digital. She has judged several writing contests and is a writing conference teacher and presenter. She writes speculative fiction, her ideas ranging from almost-real-world action/adventures to epic fantasies to supernatural thrillers.

5 comments on “Melting Down

  1. Too many crickets. 😀

    Seriously, this took guts. Love it. Thanks for sharing it.

  2. Reblogged this on The Hind of the Dawn and commented:
    This took guts to write… but oh, what a payoff! ❤

  3. Been there, done that. Except the whole litter of kids. My litter contains only two. 🙂

    It is a precious thing to have the understanding of repentance and forgiveness. So many families are torn apart simply because someone isn’t willing to admit they were wrong… and/or someone isn’t willing to forgive another’s wrongdoing.


    • EVERYONE screws up. The path to healing and restoring those relationships is being willing to be humble enough to admit it and ask forgiveness.
      Thanks so much, Teddi!

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