Too much drama. Too much going on. Too many expectations. Too many distractions. Too many delays.
Too many things, one on top of the next, piling up, overwhelming everything.
Sometimes I get buried. Sometimes it’s more than I can take, and every little feather that floats onto the pile feels like an anvil. And every once in a very great while, I have a complete meltdown.
I don’t like me when I’m angry. I’m not pretty. I yell, I cry, I say things I regret, and sometimes make the people I love cry, too.
And when that happens, I look in the metaphorical mirror and see a raging monster. I see myself through the eyes of my kids who I’ve hurt, and they see a hulk, a Mr. Hyde who is totally out of control.
One of the hardest things in the world is to pull your children into your arms when you’ve lost control and apologize to them for losing control and ask them to forgive you.
The upside is that God is gracious. He forgives me. And he gave me beautiful, sweet children with big hearts and forgiving spirits.
And one of the most beautiful things in the world is to hold a whole litter of children in your arms who are crying and giving you kisses and saying, “I forgive you, Mommy. I love you.”