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Invasion of the Ant Army

ants-in-houseScreams filled the hallway. The shrieks of small children in a panic interrupted the final once-over I was attempting on my manuscript before sending it in to a publisher in yet another desperate attempt to get noticed.

“Ants!”

“No, it’s just a spider.”

“Well, kill it then,” I said. The kids get a nickel for killing spiders and crickets that venture into the house.

“ANTS!!!”

If crickets swarmed and made trails across my floor, marching two-by-two and scurrying around in a tizzy, I’d move out. Crickets are worse than ants, any day of the week.

But ants are harder to get rid of. And I can’t afford the number of nickels it would take to kill them all.

I pulled out my trusty ant annihilator. Known to some as the common vacuum, this trusty machine has seen me through many an ant invasion. You can’t just vacuum them up–they keep coming, forever and ever–but you can thin the herd long enough to sweep the crackers out from under the dresser that they’re chowing on and mop up the sticky places on the floor and spray the poison at their point of entry.

The point of entry turned out to be the closet in my daughter’s room. A black hole from which no mortal being has ever emerged alive, yet somehow the ant army managed to claw its way forth, their horrid little bodies with all their little legs racing across the floor. Hundreds, thousands, possibly millions of them darting to and fro, a trail leading from the closet to the dresser across the room to the hallway beyond. No matter how many the Ant Annihilator sucked up, no matter how much debris I cleaned out, still they came.

Relentless.

Driven by the overpowering need to consume.

Much like my children do on a daily basis, but with more legs.

It was time for the poison.

I murdered as many of them as I could with the Ant Annihilator, then sprayed the can of foul-smelling chemicals at their base of operations. The troops that were still amassed on my side of the border swarmed, determined not to go down without a fight. They attacked, mercilessly nibbling my feet and legs in a kamikaze attempt to bring me down with them.

But I was too powerful. My Ant Annihilator and my mop proved victorious in the end.

The invasion was halted.

Victory was mine.

….For now.

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About Avily Jerome

Avily Jerome is a writer and the editor of Havok Magazine. Her short stories have been published in various magazines, both print and digital. She has judged several writing contests and is a writing conference teacher and presenter. She writes speculative fiction, her ideas ranging from almost-real-world action/adventures to epic fantasies to supernatural thrillers.

6 comments on “Invasion of the Ant Army

  1. I love a good battle/action sequence. It’s a nuance of writing that Tolkien never mastered (which is odd when you consider the genre he worked in). You have a skill here, as evidenced by the dragon training being the best part of your Dragon story. More action – that’s the key.

  2. I agree with you about crickets, although in Florida cockroaches are the bigger problem. I’ve become more lenient with the spiders ever since I witnessed one killing a roach in my hallway. It was like Wild Kingdom there for a minute.

    But ants are the worst, because there are just too many of them…

  3. LOL! All it needed was a tired warrior doing the victory shuffle at the end to make it complete! 🙂

    You can mix boric acid with sugar or peanut butter, form it into balls and place it where the pets won’t get to it, but the ants can–and they’ll go for that and kill the entire nest. It’s easy, less smelly, and less toxic–to humans, anyway. 🙂 I thought you’d want to know. There are recipes online.

    • I actually read that one time and went to the drugstore and COULD NOT find boric acid to save my life! I tried like three different stores and apparently they stopped selling it because it’s, you know, toxic. The other recipe I found that works well for killing a nest is mixing cornmeal with cayenne pepper. It’s slow, though. Takes several days to kill them all off. And in the meantime you still have ants wandering around your house.

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