Tim and Rachel review: John Carter

Tim: Welcome to your first guest blog, Mrs. Mayor of Cutietown,

I thought it would be fun to do a spoiler free review of Disney’s movie, John Carter. Assuming from your feedback last night, I gather that you’d recommend this movie to others. Why?

Rachel: HEHEHE.

I would recommend this as the graphics are neat with the Mars world, it has a “Star Wars” essence about it with the aliens and flying machines, and there are a few twists with the earth world that makes it really neat, like Sherlock Holmes. It is not too confusing and the story line is simple enough to understand.

Tim: You know I’m going to keep the “HEHEHE,” right?

Very good description. It did have a puzzle solving quest feel like Sherlock did. Good analogy.

How about the two main characters. Did you like them? Did the love story aspect feel real. Was it… lame? 😉 Who is more handsome, me or John Carter?
Rachel: Hah, you’re funny.

Oh thanks! I was worried I didn’t explain very well what I am thinking. 🙂

As far as the two main characters, I liked the backstory of John and how he had to go through agony on earth, so you could relate to him and his struggles some. The girl was ok, but I barely understood who she was and there was not enough information about her people and what was going on, so it was a little vague. No, I thought the love story was not very real, and pretty lame, but most movies are, as there is not enough time to lay out a love story, unlike tv shows, such as Castle, that prolong it too much.

Of course you are more handsome, don’t really like long hair, and your eyes are better. 🙂

Tim: Wow, count me double shocked, and thanks for padding my ego. You’re good for that, sometimes. For those who don’t know, Rachel is the queen of the underhanded compliment.

She’ll say things like “You’re funny… sometimes,” or “You look skinny… today.”

Anyway, back to this not having time to lay out a love story in a movie vs. a T.V. show like “Castle.” Would “Castle” be the best love story you’ve seen on T.V., and is that better than any movie’s love story? What is your favorite movie love story?

Btw, you’re being super cute… right now 😉

Rachel: 🙂

Well, I am not a tv expert, especially in drama, since most of the time, they annoy me, but I did enjoy the Castle love story, albeit, with the moments of annoyance. Fringe has been decent too, but annoying. I am sure tv show’s stories are better in general because they can develop the characters a lot more, unlike a movie, so it’s hard to compare. As far as favorite movie love story, I love sappy movies, but my brain is drawing a blank right now at my favorite. Probably Twilight. HAHA, just kidding. 🙂

Oh silly, Tim. 🙂

Tim: I’ll give you some time to think on that, but what makes the sappy love stories like “The Proposal” better than “John Carter?”

Although I know what you mean by “annoying” why don’t you share what annoys you about love stories, Darling?

Rachel: I am not saying that love stories like The Proposal was better, but I do think the conflict between the two in The Proposal brought more resolution in the end because of the change. John Carter gave no time to develop the feelings with each other. Kind of like Thor, that was a cheesy love story that happened too fast.

Well, it’s all the misunderstandings that make it annoying. The things that the audience knows what really happened, but the characters are still in the dark about the true story and then they get mad at each other, don’t believe each other, and push each other away….Hate it.

Tim: Way to out grammar the English major with your italicized movie titles. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I actually agree with everything you said. Now, for your ratings, please: (out of 10)

Plot (considering pace and resolution)
Special Effects

Rachel: 🙂 Yes, my English class was screaming at me to do so, so I had to listen. 🙂

Plot: 6.75
Characters: 4
Special Effects: 8

One last thing. I love a good romantic movie that gives me butterflies and makes me go “aww.” The story line that involves the relationship aspect did not do that. However, if you want to watch something that reminds you of Star Wars and your childhood, definitely watch. If you like science fiction/fantasy, it is worth the watch. It is not over-the-top, but it still made me want a sequel. I loved the twist at the end while on earth, but not necessarily how the movie completely ended.


Tim: 6.75? You’re funny. Great job, Babe! You did better than I would have. Do I still give you butterflies in your stomach?

Rachel: I at first gave it a 7, then didn’t think it could be that high, but then thought 6.5 was too low, because I liked the twist. 🙂

Aww, thanks! 😀

Well, sometimes, Timmy. 🙂


About Timothy C. Ward

Timothy C. Ward is a Hugo nominated producer for Adventures in SciFi Publishing, who has been lost, broke and surfed with sharks on the other side of the world. He now dreams of greater adventures from his keyboard in Des Moines, Iowa. This summer he released two novels: his second Sand Divers book, Scavenger: A.I., where two parents use an ancient technology to fight a reproducing A.I. while trying to resurrect their deceased infant; and Godsknife: Revolt, an apocalyptic battle for godhood in the rift between Iowa and the Abyss.

5 comments on “Tim and Rachel review: John Carter

  1. I’ve been wanting to see this movie, since it’s based on some of the books that helped start space opera.

  2. I’ve been a fan of Edgar Rice Burroughs and the John Carter books since my youth. That to say, my expectations were high going in. I found the movie quite enjoyable, actually. It is different than the books in some ways, of course, but still managed to capture the essence. Burroughs was an epic worldbuilder, just seeing some of those ideas realized on the screen…it was like being a kid again. Sure, there were some things–like the romance–that were a bit rushed. Perhaps to truly do it justice, the movie should’ve been longer. On the order of a LOTR movie, maybe? Not sure. Lots of risk with that too. Still, It was much better than the box office totals suggest, I think.

  3. I loved John Carter. I loved his voice. I loved his backstory. I did not love the lack of an ecology that made sense (also a problem with the Star Wars movies which I also loved). I loved the, um, doggie.

  4. I go to movies every week. Why? because I love movies. I was one of the lucky few who actually went to see John Carter in IMAX. I went not knowing what it was about, the source material of a 100 year old tale by Edgar Rice Burroughs Princess of Mars or who John Carter was. It was ;png when the beautiful score by Michael Giacchino’s score swept me off to Barsoom on adventure, romance and action. Taylor Kitsch rocked John Carter. Lynn Collins is incredibly beautiful as Princess Dejah. A must see, soon to be a classic. I want to go back to Barsoom.

  5. […] Other titles they’ve reviewed: TV show Touch (Season One) and movie John Carter. […]

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