Part Eight: The Roommates, Bobby Pillsbury, and Little Tony
If Bible colleges had sororities, The Roommates would have been one. There were eight of us in all that year (another got added after I graduated), and we centered around Apartment Fourteen. Only four of The Roommates actually lived in Apartment Fourteen, but the rest of us hovered in and out, spent the night on the couch, and lived a good portion of our lives in that apartment.
The Roommates were Sunflower, Kandi, Harmony Davidson, Dawn, Dee, Elise, Svetlana, and me.
When more than three of us went anywhere together, heads turned.
Apart, we were just ourselves, but together we were a force of nature, blowing past the world, confident in our own ability to stun and conquer the earth.
Linked arm in arm, we’d breeze across campus, into our classes, and around town. Some of The Roommates were later shocked to discover that people thought we were a stuck-up clique. Well, duh! As The Roommates, we were. But as individuals, we all still had our other friends.
Bobby Pillsbury was still one of my best friends, and I still spent quite a bit of time with him, Roomie, and D. Roomie and D were married, and Bobby Pillsbury and I spent a lot of time with them, so some people still thought we were destined to be together, despite that I continued to insist we were just friends.
Harmony Davidson was so convinced of it that we still maintained our bet—if I married Bobby Pillsbury, I’d owe her one New York cheesecake. If I married anyone else, she’d owe me one New York cheesecake.
And then it seemed as if Harmony Davidson might be right. Near the beginning of the year, Bobby Pillsbury expressed his desire to move our friendship to datingship.
I was still somewhat reluctant. After all, Bobby Pillsbury and I were just friends, I still had a special place in my heart for Far Away, and then there was Little Tony.
Little Tony and I had been friends before, and suddenly he expressed his interest in being my more-than-friend.
Now I was in quite a quandry. It was my senior year, I had my everlasting but unrequited crush on Far Away, and I had the attention of two really great guys.
I put off committing to either Bobby Pillsbury or Little Tony for awhile, remaining friends with both.
Bobby Pillsbury helped with the youth group at his church. One night, they borrowed the college’s gym for a game night or lock in or something, so I went along to help out for a little bit. They got some of those giant bags of candy, the kind you can get from Costco for Halloween, for the games.
I got a little box of Nerds and was happily munching on them as Bobby Pillsbury and I talked.
I extended the box toward him. “Want a Nerd?”
He put his arm around my shoulders, looked deeply into my eyes, and said, “Yes, I do.”
It was then that I decided maybe Bobby Pillsbury was The One for me, after all. He was my best friend and a really amazing guy, and he had the nerve to call me a nerd when he was asking me out. Really, what wasn’t to like there?
I told Little Tony that I had made my decision.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
I nodded. It was.
It seemed as if I might end up owing Harmony Davidson that cheesecake after all, because Bobby Pillsbury and I started dating.
That lasted about a month, and then….
Bobby Pillsbury dumped me. We had a conversation in which he informed me that the only reason he wanted to date me in the first place was to distract him from the girl he really liked who, for various circumstances, he couldn’t have.
Then, to make matters worse, he got me a present. He had been out of town and saw something he thought I would like, so he got it for me. It was a little mini fake Katana blade (did I mention my collection of sharp objects?), about five inches long. It was actually really cool, in a wooden sheath painted black with little flowers. Something I really would have appreciated if he had given it to me when he wasn’t breaking up with me.
I mean, seriously! What is that about? I wasn’t even sure I wanted to date him in the first place, and he pushed and pushed, and coerced me into dating him. He even had a slight rivalry thing going on with Little Tony, and had no problem rubbing it in when I dated him instead. And now he was rejecting me? And in the process of rejecting me, he was doing something really nice, as if buying me a present would soften the fact that he really lied throughout our entire relationship, since he didn’t want to be with me in the first place.
Big, stinky, mean, boy-person!
I didn’t talk to him for about a month, but eventually we were able to be friends again.
In the meantime, I started talking to Little Tony again. At one point, we had a conversation about how neither one of us wanted to date just to date, and if we dated anyone it would be with the intention to see if that was the person we wanted to marry.
So when Superbowl Sunday rolled around, and we spent the entire game flirting and holding hands, it was only a matter of time until we had the DTR.
For those of you who didn’t go to a tiny Bible college, DTR stands for Determine The Relationship. It’s when a boy and a girl who are “just friends” have The Talk, to decide if they’re just friends, “just friends,” or dating.
Since we’d already had the conversation about dating being with marriage in mind, I knew that if Little Tony and I dated, we would very likely get married.
Little Tony was majoring in Youth Ministry, and I thought about the ramifications of being a youth pastor’s wife. I had a great amount of respect for the wife of my youth pastor when I was in high school, and I did some work with the youth at the church I attended while in college. I could be a youth pastor’s wife.
I thought about the things we had in common. We had a great time together, we shared some fun inside jokes, and we had fun spending time with our mutual friends. Yes, I thought I could spend the rest of my life with this man. If only I could get over Far Away.
And then I heard that Far Away was coming for a visit….