That’s what I said, a Real (note the capital letter) honest to goodness, Hero – certified by the Heroes Guild.
Q: So, Cyrus, when did you really know that you were Hero material and thus prompted you to mail that fateful letter?
It was a lot of little things, really. Times I found I could hold my breath for a really long time, the fact I outran pretty much all the other kids, and one time I went cow tipping and tipped the cow over lengthwise rather than sideways. No one told me how to tip cows, okay? I just guessed wrong.
But I think the biggest thing was probably the fish. My cousin Marco and I went fishing from the docks one time. The only line I could find at the time was some of my uncle’s deep-sea fishing line, so we pitched that out there, and I kind of half dozed-off. We were chatting about something or other. But Marco abruptly stops, right? And I look up and he’s being dragged down the dock by his fishing line, hollering at me to help. So I do.
And I haul in, by hand, mind you, one of the biggest and most dangerous fish in the waters around Starspeak: a Pyrradorsal. I dragged it in, Marco brought me a big rock, and I smacked the ‘Dorsal with it until it stopped moving. Made my very first sword out of the blade fins on its back. Long answer, sorry.
Q: Do you take your notes in long hand or short hand?
Long hand. He takes so long to do things that I usually have time. But sometimes I just draw funny pictures of Reg getting beaten up by a dragon. It’s not like he reads them anyway.
Q: After you’re done writing down Reg’s narrated battle, what do you do with it? Does the Guild collect it in a tome to release in a limited edition update?
No, but sometimes the bards who hang out in the Heroes Guild courtyard are looking for new material, and I can turn over a sheaf of them and they pass me a couple coins in return. Reg gets renown, bards get new songs, and I get snack money. Win-win-win situation.
The only people the Guild collects and publishes stories of are the Spectrum Heroes, and even I read those. Those guys get up to some crazy shenanigans. I’m thinking the Guild may release one of them when they’re done with my story.
Q: Does the Hero’s Guild have a standard issue of GPS to go with those snazzy communicator tokens?
The Tokens of Summoning? No, not really. They’re for communication, and only for communication. It makes them cheaper to mass produce. I think Guildmaster Guardian has a way of locating Heroes by token, but he’s the only one. Something about the way the magic works. I don’t know, because Reg won’t teach me anything about magic.
Q: You go through a number of weapons on your rather, um, eventful adventure so I was curious, what ones do you favor most and are you thinking of settling down with a permanent match?
I’m no good with a shield, and I don’t really have the coordination needed for two weapons at once. I’m thinking a single long-sword would be best, maybe while slinging some of that awesome elemental stuff I learned to do with my other hand. It’d look pretty cool to have a sword in one hand and a ball of incendiary goodness in the other, right?
Q: I couldn’t help but notice issues with keeping ones’ own mount, which is such a typical hazard in this type of work, so I was wondering if the Guild had done any research into any horse friendly tracking devices.
There was an experiment a while back with tokens of Equine Tracking, but it turned out that they didn’t tell you if the horse was okay or not, just where the token was. One time Reg and I tracked one of our horses for a day and a half using one of those tokens, only to find it in the belly of a Greater Basilisk. It’s a good thing Horse Insurance is so cheap these days.
Q: Now, the word on the street is that you’re due for another adventure in April. So, I’ve just got to say that I am totally on your side of the court in that it was completely unreasonable for Reg to expect you to know about the M.U.D. However, do you ever regret what happened and do you hope to run into him again?
I can’t say. I’m mostly just worried we’ll get into that argument again and I’ll accidentally hurt him. I don’t really have a handle on this magic stuff just yet, and if my temper gets the better of me, which it tends to…
Don’t get me wrong, Reg is the best friend I’ve ever had, if a bit of a tyrant sometimes. I forgive him for being unreasonable, because I know he’s only ever got everyone’s best interests in mind. He’s a good guy, and I can’t stand having the good guys mad at me. I regret that altercation, and once we’ve both had a chance to cool down, I hope I do run into him. After all, we’re going to need all the teamwork we can get if we’re going to take Voshtyr down once and for all.
Thanks for your cooperation. I can only imagine how busy life as a Hero must be so I really appreciate you spending some with me. And of course I look forward to finding out about your upcoming endeavors. Good luck on them.
Yeah, I’m going to need it. I heard something about ninjas and pirates, not to mention something about a talking magic rabbit and break-dancing Communist Dwarves. I’ll see you in April!
Okay, so who wants a whole book of Cyrus? Here’s your chance to win one, personalized and signed by the Author (or Cyrus for a nominal bribe maybe? Though I hear there may be some glitches with the fantasy-to-reality conversion portal, so no promises). Just leave a comment below and I’ll enter you in the drawing.
DRAWING has been Closed and the book has reach the Winner! But, watch for more book give-aways here on NAF! After all, God encourages us to share, right? So here at NAF, we love to share great books!
Also, Check out the Review of Hero, Second Class!