I Said No!

Okay, it’s time for a little real. I had a fairly rough time in the last week. I will not go into details because they are irrelevant. What I will go into is reasoning.

There is a word in every parent’s arsenal that is absolutely essential.

You got it…NO!

Most of the time I do not like to say no, but I am honor-bound to do so. I do not want to “crush my children’s hearts” or “ruin their lives.” Really I don’t. But there are certain things I just can’t budge on.

I am sure it is in a contract somewhere, filed under miscellaneous things a parent must do to NOT be labeled a failure. We must say No! We must break baby’s heart and ruin baby’s life. 

Baby- “But, Mom? So-and-so’s mom lets him.”

Me- “Yes, Baby. I know so-and so’s mom is an idiot.

Baby- “But, Mom? Don’t you want me to be happy?”

Me- “Why would I wish that for you, Baby? I want you to be content.”

Now granted, this is a re-enactment but you get the idea.  I could give a flying flip about so-and-so or his mom. Society has created a nation full of whiny brats that do not know what to expect when life tells them no. Then we have to deal with whiny adults.

Now, my tolerance is pretty big. I can handle just about anything thrown at me in life because God is at my side every step of the way. But under no circumstances can I handle whiny. Under no circumstances can I handle my child having the disillusion that life is a big bundle of happy.  It is a big bundle of poo on most days. To succeed, we must teach our children how to wade through the poo and find contentment in all things…even poo.

So the anvil doesn’t continue to fall on our children’s heads, we tell them no. If they argue, we say no some more. If they whine, we drop the anvil on their head and tell them no once more. When they throw themselves on the ground and act like a fool, we drop the anvil, tell them to suck it up and and say no again.

As a rule, I have found that usually when I am nearly at my wit’s end, baby is too. If I hold out just a few more minutes, the battle is won.  Then, we can have cheesecake and get back to the things that are important., like wading through the poo and finding contentment in it.

Peace, love and God’s will.

About Diane Graham

Diane Graham lives in the mountains of eastern Oklahoma with her husband, children and many dogs. She is an avid reader and lover of all art forms that encapsulate imagination and goodness. Her debut novel I Am Ocilla was released in March 2012.

12 comments on “I Said No!

  1. My dearest youngest daughter,
    It is wits end and I have been there many times. LOL I can tell you what I have found to be true in life.

    1. Someone has to be the cop. ( It always turned out to be me!)
    2. Your child is not your friend. ( They are not old or mature enough to be on the same brain wave as you!)
    3.You are your child’s teacher.( If you falter, so will they!)
    4. Your child wants and needs your guidance.(contrary to what they say!)
    5. Your child will prosper in life because of your steadfast determination. (AMEN!)

  2. You can’t handle whiny? Oi! How on earth do you put up with me? hehe!

    • Well, you’re a turtle and there are allowances. 😛 Seriously, there is a difference in writing out your emotions and whining in my book. 😀

  3. Fabulous word!! I will share with all my mommy friends! 🙂 -De

  4. Well said, Diane. I have to confess to occasionally not holding out for those last few minutes.

    In the future, I will use your tags as my mantra: “anvil cheesecake happy whiny poo,” and thus persevere.

  5. Deep down, kids really want those boundaries, life is pretty overwhelming at times and even now I can say, when I was divorced, and out on my own, I had my parents play back in my head about right and wrong. God still uses their guidance even though I am 50ish! So , remember that, Lady Di, you are laying a foundation that will never crack. Your kids are downloading input in their computer minds that will be useful well into adulthood. Don’t you have your mama’s voice playing back in your own noggin?

  6. One day your kids will thank you for being consistent in the boundaries you set up, even if they never get around to doing so audibly. 😉 It’s hard to accept being told ‘no’ all the time as a kid, but in the end it helps establish safe ground. You always know where you are in a steadfast home, as opposed to the rising and swelling tides of an uncertain world.

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