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10 Benefits of Sleep Deprivation

10.  You can speak your mind.  Well, you’re tired and you’re grumpy, right?  So you can say whatever you want, and just follow it up with, “Sorry, I’m tired.”   Sure you may get “the look,” but you’ll be forgiven.  Use this opportunity to say those little things you usually have the good sense not to say.  You know you want to.  Be a little rude and grumpy, and enjoy the new found personal space.

9.  More time for productivity.  If you’re not sleeping, you might as well be doing something.  Got a book you need to catch up on?  A movie you’ve been meaning to watch?  2 am is a great time for productivity!  So go ahead!  Put those shelves in you’ve been meaning to do!  Vacuum the hall, or go clean out the attic.  It’s time to get things done!

8.  It lets your family see your emotional side.  I don’t know about you, but when I’m sleep deprived my emotions are fragile.  Sure I get grumpy, but I also get my feelings hurt easy.  Guys, this is a great time to show your wife your emotional side.  Bring out the chick flicks and let the tears flow!  Cuddle up and let her comfort you!  If things go well, you may have a very good reason to remain sleep deprived for at least one more night!

7.  Lack of rationality can lead to creativity.  It has been said by Merit Antares that “The only cure for writer’s block is insomnia.”  I’m at my most creative when I am at my least alert.  Why?  Because my subconscious brain runs amuck.  And my subconscious brain can come up with some really weird stuff.  It may be out there or a little silly, but once you finally get some rest and start thinking rationally you’ll appreciate the creative genius sparked by lack of sleep.

6. It gives you an excuse to try gourmet coffee.  If you’re going to be sleep deprived, you need something to sustain you through the day.  But drinking the same old thing gets old.  So start trying good gourmet coffee!  The flavors and aromas are bountiful, and unless you’re in a situation where you need constant variety, you might never get to try them all.  So start sampling!

5. It gives you an excuse to nap.  And who doesn’t like a good nap?  Especially on a cool Sunday afternoon, with a blanket to curl up in on the recliner, and a football game on the tele.  What a great sleeping opportunity!  So stay up all night, and enjoy the pure wonder and enjoyment of a nice nap!

4. It gives you a free pass on forgetting important information.  This is perhaps one of the most useful benefits of sleep deprivation.  Whether you’re a single-minded guy or a scatterbrained girl, a frazzled mommy or a daddy with a honey-do list a mile long, if you haven’t had any sleep, nobody expects you to remember everything.  Did you forget to take out the trash?  Sorry, I haven’t had much sleep.  Did you forget to bathe the children?  Sorry, I haven’t had much sleep.  Did you forget an anniversary or birthday?  I’m sorry, what day of the week is it?  I can’t remember, I haven’t had much sleep.  Mmm… such a useful tool.

3. Time passes quickly in boring situations.  When you’re sleep deprived, something has to be real engaging for you to pay attention, right?  Well, if it’s not engaging, that means I’m not that interested.  It’s going to be a long meeting or… sermon.  Know what I mean?  Well, revisit point number 7 and let your creative juices take you to a foreign land.  Before you know it, it’ll be time to go home!  Instant time machine, and you probably got some great story ideas at the same time!

2. It can give you a pretty good buzz by the end of the day.  No need for alcohol, crack, weed, meth, or anvils, sleep dep can give you all the buzz you need.  It has the same effect.  Loss of memory, impaired judgment, slurred speech, and you get this nice buzzing sound in your head.  It can be a real rush!  Easy, free, and LEGAL!

1. You can see the sunrise and the sunset in the same day… everyday.  Ok, so you can do this without being sleep deprived, but honestly who does?  And besides, some of the fun of doing this is being awake the entire time it’s dark.  If you go to sleep, it’s almost like it’s cheating.  So, stay up all night and get some stuff done (see point 9), letting your creative juices flow (see point 7).  I promise, near the end time will fly (see point 3).  You’ll have a nice buzz (point 2), and you can share the emotional experience of seeing the sunrise with your spouse (see point 8).  And when she reminds you the next day that you forgot to do the dishes (see point 4), you can insult her and get a free pass (see point 10).  Go get you some coffee (see point 6) and take a good nap (see point 5).

As I write this, I am currently sleep deprived.  It’s a quarter to midnight, I’m going on about 5 hours of sleep the day before.  And I still have one more hour to go before I can crash, only to have to get up with the sun in the morning for another long day.  I do hope this blog has been coherent and not too fantastical or creatively bloated.  But those things can be fun the next day, much easier than a hangover, so I’m going to post it before I get the good sense to revise this crazy list.

Good night.

-KN

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About Keven Newsome

Keven Newsome is a child of God, husband, father, and friend, in that order. He’s also a novelist, musician, and sometimes artist. He has an MA in Theology, specializing in supernatural theology, from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. His debut novel Winter was a finalist for the Compton Crook Awards and the Grace Awards. His other works include Prophetess, the sequel to Winter; three contributing stories in the Aquasynthesis anthology; and a contributing micro-story in the Avenir Eclectia anthology. Keven is the founder of The New Authors’ Fellowship and produces music and video through Newsome Creative.

18 comments on “10 Benefits of Sleep Deprivation

  1. Aw man… Keven… this was so funny! You’ve just put a massive smile on my face. I especially love how you rounded everything up at the end.

  2. Ha! Excellent post. I second Zoe. :D

    Why no anvil in the tag? :P

  3. Nice! I never knew there were so many benefits!!!
    And I have all of November with NaNoWriMo to try them out!

  4. Laugh-out-loud funny!

  5. Mrs. Newsome has my sympathy… I would exercise my quirky sense of humor here, but–don’t want to get in trouble for commenting under the influence of sleep deprivation myself.

  6. Ah…I’m used to it, and occasionally suffer from SIS (Sleepy Idiot Syndrome) myself. ;)

  7. Great article Kevin!! Funny, as I sit here working, eating cookies and on my 5th glass of diet coke for the hour I realize I have been QUITE productive after 3 days of no sleep. It suddenly hits me that I’ve generated my own “buzz” by tunring “no sleep” into a form of therapy when I am feeling unmotivated and depressed. I decided to Google it and came across your article!!! Funny, entertaining, and completely on target!!! Here’s to the smart people who figured out a legal & free way to get high and work it to our advtantage!

  8. I absolutely LOVED this post! This is totally me. I’m glad someone has finally come up with a valid list of excuses. I’m a musician and I work best in the middle of the night so I can relate on the creative flow you get! I’m currently sleep deprived too. Joining the party!
    Cheers!

  9. Reading this, I thought, “This article has to be some type of joke.” This article really made me laugh. I’m sleep deprived as well and this is the first article I have ever seen where someone spoke of the “benefits” of sleep deprivation. LOL. Nice article. Keep em coming.

  10. I love you man. 3PM on a cold sunny afternoon.. feels like you wrote my future.

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