My Crazy

As many of you may know, I married very young. It was all about him at first. Nothing wrong with that. The reason I mention this is to point out I had no place but him to pour myself into. I had no career or charity.  Then, the kids came and came and came. They consumed me. I have this tendency to become consumed with what I do. I will not apologize or complain about this. It is part of who I am. Even with all the lovely people God filled my life with, he reserved a place inside of me. A special place meant only for me.

Have you ever considered what frame of mind the Wright Brother’s were in when they flew that very first time? That moment when all their crazy dreams transcended into reality. I do not say crazy lightly either. I mean, they started with a glider and learned as they improved. Eventually developing their crazy into brilliant.

Being afraid of heights like I am, I can’t imagine doing anything like they did. It would take a great deal of passion and dedication. It would take them being consumed by the idea of flying. They would need to dance on the thin line of crazy, molding the dream into something tangible.

I’ve always been a little fond of crazy myself. The little reserved spot inside of me is my crazy and I had to find the thing to focus my crazy on. The one thing that would cause me to forget reason and go for it.  Something so brilliant and wonderful I could lose myself in it for hours or days and not feel a lick of guilt about it.  It would say to the world(not like they care) I am a …fill in the blank.

I already have so many tags telling the world who I am. I really shouldn’t be so dang greedy. I should be satisfied with all I have been blessed with. But my children are growing. They are only mine for a little while. What will I do with all that time?

I will fill it with my crazy. I am a writer. Words dance in my dreams.  Writing consumes me with joy. I equate it to the Wright Brothers flying because when I write, my soul flies away to another place. I soar on the backs of dragons and lounge in the limbs of trees.  I am learning as I go. He is perfecting me and my crazy into beautiful. Even if the world never sees it, He will.

I know God gives us all a little crazy and I sure do hope you find yours.

Peace, love and God’s will

About Diane Graham

Diane Graham lives in the mountains of eastern Oklahoma with her husband, children and many dogs. She is an avid reader and lover of all art forms that encapsulate imagination and goodness. Her debut novel I Am Ocilla was released in March 2012.

18 comments on “My Crazy

  1. There will always be something to fill yourself with. Never fear.

  2. “Soar on the backs of dragons and lounge in the limbs of trees.”
    Beautiful, Diane. Beautiful.

  3. I too am afraid of heights but I will be crazy enough to climb to the top of the gym bleachers to enjoy my sons’ concerts in the school band even tho it really makes me feel giddy and uneasy. Facing our crazy is a sane thing to do I think and most good comes out of it, just ask the Wright Brothers and Diane Graham haha. Great writing, I enjoyed much. Love, Peace and God’s Will to you!

  4. I have been so consumed in this election that I have not come up for air…this new transfixation is about the law and infringement on our privacy rights. Do you know what I just found , Lady Di? Amoung other nuggetts? This from the Texas State Election Code: Sec. 18.066.

    AVAILABILITY OF STATEWIDE COMPUTERIZED VOTER REGISTRATION LIST INFORMATION. (a) The secretary of state shall furnish information in the statewide computerized voter registration list to any person on request not later than the 15th day after the date the request is received.
    (b) Information furnished under this section may not include:
    (1) a voter’s social security number; or
    (2) the residence address of a voter who is a federal judge or state judge, as defined by Section 13.0021, or the spouse of a federal judge or state judge, if the voter included an affidavit with the voter’s registration application under Section 13.0021 or the applicable registrar has received an affidavit submitted under Section 15.0215.

    ANY PERSON can get these lists with your name and address . The only thing that they say is that you cannot use it for commercial or product promotion. ANY nutjob, anyone can find out a person’s name or address if they are a registered voter. It states elsewhere that we are to have a private area to vote in a private manner. And yet, my candidate, Keith Dyer, is supposed to be disqualified because he voted in the last election! Here they are always encouraging us to do our civic duty to only open our lives up to all who want to view it.

    So, as you can tell , that is “my crazy”, dear sweet prophetess. You always know what we need to hear and to ,most of all, feel ok with being whom God made us to be. Love you madly, bella donna.

  5. I agree with Robynn.
    Soaring on dragon backs and lounging on limbs! That kind of writing makes my toes tingle! 🙂
    Go Crazy, Diane! It sounds rather wonderful to me.

    Blessings Brave One,

  6. Nothing wrong with a little crazy. It makes the world go around. When I run into those who seem to have the sanity thing down, I just cant help but to inject some wildness.

    Thanks for sharing. This was cool.

  7. We writers are all a little crazy. I think you have to be to write down all the voices in your head and think people will enjoy reading the results.

    What’s doubly crazy is when they do.

  8. Like Mother, like daughter!

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