Living in a Shallow Society.

On the TV, in magazines and virtually everywhere you look, you see the signs of narcissism.  As a mother, this terrifies me and breaks my heart. Our daughters are given an unrealistic idea of what they should look like and how much they should weigh and our sons forget to look at the inner beauty and grace of women and their selves. I am not saying all of society is like this but it is crammed down our throats at every turn.

I actually entertained the idea of plastic surgery when I was in my early twenties.  It is not something I am proud of but it speaks volumes to the work God has done in my heart and mind. It is so easy to fall into the world face first.  Being the inquisitive type of person I am, I had to ask a zillion questions of myself and of God. Here are a few of them.

1) Who made me?

God did

2) Does he think I am beautiful?

Always. He sees my heart and soul and knows it is HIS.

3) Who proportioned my body?

God did

4) Does God make mistakes?



God loves me inside and out. He knows every hair on my head and feels all of my heartache and insecurity. He made me just so and who am I to question His perfect plan?  If I change what He made me, I am putting myself before Him and calling God a liar.

It took many years for me to realize I was being shallow. My hair had to be just so and you would never catch me out without makeup. I starved myself and exercised without cease to maintain a worldly weight. Sad…I know but I assure you I am over that.  Now, I know what I am is beautiful only because He lives inside of me.  All the worldly things are but a band-aid for ugly shallowness.

Peace, love and God’s will.


About Diane Graham

Diane Graham lives in the mountains of eastern Oklahoma with her husband, children and many dogs. She is an avid reader and lover of all art forms that encapsulate imagination and goodness. Her debut novel I Am Ocilla was released in March 2012.

16 comments on “Living in a Shallow Society.

  1. Great thoughts , as usual, Dianne. Honestly, I do not see anything wrong with “corrective” surgery. Not for vanity reasons but for health reasons. My ex-husband took it upon himself to beat me with his fists for about three hours , mostly in the face. I was knocked unconscious and the hospital kept rousing me awake because they did not not want me lapse further into a coma. Cold hard facts of reality. My face was unrecognizable for weeks. So, if I could afford it, I would get some scars fixed because that isn’t the way that God created me. People don’t really see the scars , so they say, but they are a daily reminder of God’s grace and love and healing too. And for that I am humbly grateful. And I am turning it around for good too, in volunteer work.

    As far as weight, yes, I would like to loose some, but I figure if someone does not like me now, as a work in progress, and does not see the spirit within, then how would they ever like me as I get old and change. Back when I had the perfect bikini shape was a time that I did not have Christ, intelligence, wisdom. I think we can have it all. Besides, men are very visual and if we care about our men, we want to look our very best for them. But I agree , Lady Di…my best is different than the airbrush ladies in the magazines. I have come to that place that I am ok with myself, right now today. It is just ironic that men have a double standard a lot of times, they are losing their hair, getting a gut but expect their women to look like a Hooters gal. But an increasing amount of men are starting to get that vain shallowness too. There is a upshoot in anorexia in men now. And the “metro men” get their nails done and pedicures and spend so much on hair care products now. I like a hairy legged boy that has intelligence, humor and is not afraid to sweat. And is not delicate. No hairspray on men for me! LOL

    I watch Dancing With The Stars and they had the astronaut, Buzz Aldrin on . He , at 80 , got a face lift right before the competition. He looks like a freak show. So does his wife, unfortunately. Their skin is so unnaturally tight that is painful to even look at them. Now, that is vanity deluxe. And so sad.

  2. I do not think there is anything wrong with plastic reconstructive surgery. It is a wonderful thing. I am talking about people wanting to fulfill a society’s cookie-cutter image.

  3. I love the line about falling into the world face-first. That says it all. Great post, chickie.

  4. pffft!!! what are you talking about sis? you have always had those big, beautiful, Angelina Jolie lips to cushion your fall and keep you from getting boo-boos. you are gorgeous and have NEVER needed plastic surgery.

  5. And I simply loved that line “…the work God has done in my heart and mind…” It’s all one needs to know…
    Great post! As always… 🙂

  6. I hear you. I worked in the fitness industry for five years and one thing I learned during that time is that nobody ever seems to be happy with what they have. It always seemed like the heavy people wanted to lose weight while the slender people wanted to gain weight (that was for men; I never met a woman who wanted to gain weight 😉 ). Of course there’s the issue of maintaining health but I met so many people who were perfectly healthy and well-proportioned but just didn’t like how they looked. I have to admit to having the same problem. God’s still working with me but we’re getting there 😉

  7. Guess I never fell for that stuff – fell for lots of other stupid things, but not looks. Maybe because I didn’t think I could even begin to fit into the world’s little box, particularly in looks. Or maybe I just flat out didn’t care.

    It’s rare that anyone caught me wearing make-up except for dance/dates and formal photos. Usually the feel of it on my face bugs me. Weight? I’ve toyed with the concern a little lately, after having 4 kids. All in all I had far more aspiration for physically fit and active so that I would never be held back from what I want to do. My biggest weightloss happened when I wasn’t looking. That was more of a case of mild depression/burnout and nothing to do with appearances.

    Was funny when in a speaking class I got an impromtu topic of “How to look more sexy”. I talked about the power of modesty, hinting as opposed to full exposure. I honestly believe there’s truth to it, but I doubt anyone in the class took it seriously – probably didn’t consider it. Too busy snickering and rolling their eyes.

    Thank goodness I married someone who simply doesn’t care if I shave my legs, let alone the rest.

    • Ren,

      My husband does not care either. He really does love me no matter what. That was never my problem. I agree about modesty being “more”. They should have considered your advice.

  8. I went to our Tea Party at the courthouse yesterday, big turnout. All sizes , shapes, ages, cultures. I , of course, did not have a lawn chair as I walked over there after my part-time job. After listening to a dynamic speaker about a half hour, a young woman, about 20 years old, came up and stood close to me. I had a good view of the speakers, she told me later. A perfect spot. I talked to her , at first , just on the surface ( I am a real people person and edifier). Found out it was her first type of rally like that, and that she was in nursing school , single and pregnant. I am 5’7″, above average height for females, but this young lady was about 5’10”. And what she called “thick”! LOL She was joking, for some reason, about her feet being size 11. She is half black, her hair took the black side of nature, so she had it pulled back in a poneytail. It managed to be unruly anyway. Did not have a stitch of make-up on and the world would not classify her as even remotely pretty, but as we visited, those two and half hours, she became one of the most beautiful people I ever met! Nothing is by chance in a Christian’s life and God brought Taylor into that little chapter in my life for a reason. I started noticing little things about her appearance. How her nose crinkled when she laughed. How straight and white her teeth were (could envy her if it were not a sin), that twinkle in her deep brown eyes. How long her eyelashes were! She was intelligent too. Had a delightful sense of humor, even about her boyfriend leaving her high and dry. Her father was in and out of prison so much that she never had a relationship with him and something in her made her want to help children that were sick. She wanted to care for and love people because she had felt so unloved. Lady Di has that quality that people are open books around her , well , I have that gift too, I guess. I found out every possible thing that has happened in this young girl’s life. We exchanged communication contacts and as we walked back to our cars, she turned and reached down and hugged me. Over my shoulder she said, “I wish that you could be my mother.” I told her,”Honey , we were family the second I saw that beautiful smile.” Taylor replied (looking down) “There is nothing beautiful about me.” I told her that in my day, I have known models , and gorgeous people, I have met famous people that had every type of image self-improvement at their disposal and , to me, she surpassed all of them in beauty. She walked away grinning from ear to ear and her head up high. We are going to do lunch next week…

  9. I love it when I find the hidden beauty in God’s creation. I feel like He wrapped it up just for me to find. What is amazing is that once it is found, it is so glaringly obvious. I scratch my head and wonder how I missed it the first time round.

  10. I struggle with “shallow.” I am concerned about how I look – especially as I age. It’s not God’s intent – but I am being honest. I have not conquered that yet. Very well done Diane. You write from the heart – telling us your heart and that speaks to your reader.
    Keep writing – you have a gift from Him.

    • Thanks, Carol. It is difficult to walk against the grain of the world. That is what we are doing as Christians. He never said it would be easy, right? But the effort shows. Each of us has a different stumbling block to hurdle. And you are a force for Him, Carol. 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: