My company is gone.
The urgent projects are done or quiet for a moment.
I’m left with neither distraction nor excuse as I face the very real frustration of no progress to speak of in terms of writing over the last several months.
Writers’ block? Perhaps, though I don’t lack for ideas. Only last night I was jotting down more ideas for revisions of Hall (aka Dragon Seal). They join a long list of intended changes for that book. One recent critique recommended completely redesigning the opening, which has been redesigned so many times now I can’t trust myself to say where the story truly begins.
I expect my problem has far more to do with focus. Forger was dusted off recently as well and has a long list of changes, too. Some of them should be easy but most of the changes for each book involve drastic alterations and thus comes with strings of inconsistencies to correct.
The line by line tweaks can seem so pointless when the whole paragraph or scene may be obsolete tomorrow.
I toy with the idea of bringing on an editor, like my friend Tim. Maybe I crave company to help me establish clarity and a plan.
At moments I wonder if I’m just frustrated by what seems like delay. Perhaps I need a short story to push through to hopefully garner a taste of success in the short term. Even in that arena I don’t lack ideas. I have a couple partials and one that I was supposed to revise and resubmit.
Surely it wouldn’t take that much once I apply myself.
And yet I feel all tangled up and disconnected as I mull over so many questions. What is my true genre? Am I stuck in an endless cycle? What is my USP (unique selling point)? Have I gotten too complacent?
Although my Husband is willing to talk, even about my stories, I can’t help but feel the impression that he likes the extra focus on housekeeping and real life duties, instead of the seemingly endless quest of writing.
Voices of council weave around me, old and new, pulling and tugging in so many directions. I long to adapt. No one wants their story or themselves dubbed sloppy, arrogant, premature or evil.
Yet I know well I must pick and choose my priorities and battles.
I am the self-proclaimed jumper, an outcast in so many ways that I could never overcome even if I wanted to. Lately I have felt reminded of how much of an odd duck I am. There remain bits and pieces that can’t bear to be forgotten and entrenched too deep in my heart to ignore.
I know there are decisions that I must make and time will not wait long, but for this moment I am adrift. I’m trapped in the paradox of a dreamer lost in her dream, the loner haunted by loneliness.
If you’re an odd duck, then so am I. I can relate. I’m not sure what your specific situation is in terms of each project, but lately I had the same type of epiphany–if one could call the strange realization that as a dreamer I was at a unique loss of options on which to dream on paper.
Briefly summarizing my situation: two separate parts of my Deals with the Dead story were at a standstill, either because the preceding part was submitted to a publisher or beta reader, and I thought I needed to brainstorm/outline how the two parts would come together. This frustrated me because it takes me so long to brainstorm. I feel like I’m wasting my day, trudging through a swamp for eight hours to get a measly list of options.
I also have my novel in C.L.’s hands till mid September, so I like to think of this as the opportunity to write a new novel or novellas in between. Bryan Thomas Schmidt is a quality, cheap editor you might look into (since Cat is busy with me).
My solution there was pantsing the next part of the storyline I submitted to the publisher. If they suggest I tweak something, I doubt it will be too far from my structure, so any changes I need to make shouldn’t be too drastic, and I’m writing again, so that’s awesome. I’m on a four day 750 word streak. Getting that out of the way “first” has made reading and other stuff more enjoyable later because I know I’ve accomplished the most important task.
So, without knowing your particular situation, I’d say just start writing, anything. I chose to write in the worlds I’ve already created because I didn’t want to start something new knowing I can only juggle two large projects at once.
As for short stories, I can’t say enough about how much they’ve helped give me confidence in between the doldrums of line editing novels. Plus, keeping new short stories in my queue is an immense confidence booster, both for seeing how I can transform a rough draft and for how I can look forward to some recognition in between the time it takes to get a novel published. I just got my first non “unfortunately” letter for my WotF story, and it really helped me see that I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire. That sort of thing helps when you feel one project isn’t doing that well, that around the corner could come an acceptance into an anthology or magazine.
Feel free to email me or skype if you’d like to chat more.
There always comes a point when, even as you take a critiquer’s recommendations under consideration, you have to decide what is truest to your own vision of the story. Use what’s applicable, discard the rest. It is your story, not anyone else’s.
Tim has an excellent point about the value of short stories. And for a busy wife and mother, they aren’t quite as time-invasive as the more ponderous demands of a novel. You can see results more quickly even as your writing and your particular style develops and matures like the very best wine for the eyes.
Wasn’t there a jeweler’s son who got in trouble for making a most unusual sword? Where are you in polishing it? Is it in submission anywhere?
You’re a good writer (and artist!), Ren. But remember, all of us SFF folks are a bit weird, and sitting in deep space doldrums happens to every creative person sooner or later. “Becalmed” is a deceptively lovely word. At first, it looks like you’re becoming calm; but in nautical terms, it means your boat can’t move because there’s no wind in the sails. Terrible thing to happen when it goes on and on and …
Take some time just for your story(ies). Relax and enjoy playing with the children of your mind. Don’t worry over branding, USP, networking or any of the other stuff. Just. Your. Story.
Feel free to email (or p.m. me on FB) if you want/need an extra writer’s support. Sorry, though — I don’t know much about odd ducks. I’m the one that got kicked off a short UFO. Chin up, gal!
Thanks Glynda and Tim. It helps a lot. Being odd and/or loners seems all too common among writers, particularly spec fiction. I guess it’s kind of like the comment my Father-in-law got from someone. “All musicians are eccentric. You know what I mean, Mr. Black, you’re a musician.” If we’re not producing something, it seems we’re marching our way up the watch list for the guys in white coats.
Yep, Jeweler’s Son is high on my list of WIP options as a short story. I do have to be careful to keep my intended shorts from morphing into novellas or more. I favor the longer side, which probably feeds the “endless project” cycle.
WotF is really tempting, but I know how highly competitive it is too. I have yet to actually nail a short.
It wasn’t long ago that I had only one series, one fantasy world. I resisted any suggestions of trying other genres. Now my ideas span three or four distinct genres (including non-spec contemporary) and at least four worlds, if you count future earth as it’s own. In my original fantasy world alone I have three separate series plot arcs, each at least a trilogy. Forger starts one, Hall starts another and though the third looks like the shortest, maybe that’s only because I haven’t started drafting any of it out. Meanwhile, each world has various spinoff backstory ideas brooding.
I guess I should count myself lucky that the only multi-book arcs I have are all on the same planet. The other worlds have a stand alone book idea with potential for sequel/prequels.
Haha, WOW! even your comments are similar to what I’m going through, better described than even I can! The endless project hanging over you is annoying. I also do the short story thing, but because those morph into longer things, I’ve recently taken to scene writing when I want to get away from rewriting. Of course, currently I’m rewriting and cowriting so I’m starting to get better. the deadline and accountability helps. I basically need to just sit and write and edit and delve into my worlds without any distractions. It’s the thinking that kills you. Once you sit down for some time, and get into your world, you begin to enjoy it again and forget about your troubles and how it will take forever.
I would also suggest reading or rereading a really good book or watching/rewatching a good movie that will stimulate your creative mind, not that you need more ideas, but that you’ll get excited about the whole thing and be like, I gotta get this done so I can have something great out there too!