Growing up in church, I heard about God’s love for us. Because of that, He sent
Jesus to die on the cross for us. And these two questions have spun in
my mind ever since I was old enough to grasp the concept.
How could anyone, even a divine, infinite God, love that much? How did he feel when His Son died?
I never will fully understand. But I think that two events in my life have helped me see things a little clearer.
After I got married, I understood infinite love. I love my husband Justin so
much–I would do anything for him and put up with anything in order to keep him. Yes, anything. We’re committed to each other, to looking past the dings and scrapes that we were born with. I love him so much that sometimes I feel like I will burst because I can’t hold it in.
As for how God felt when Jesus died–well…
Matty hadn’t even been born yet when he passed away. Yet I loved him with a fierce, protective love. I would have done anything to keep him safe. He was my baby, my little boy, and I loved him.
How much more did God love Jesus? God loves so deeply, that He must hurt deeply also, and nothing could have hurt more than His Son’s death.
And yet He allowed it, because His creation needed it.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that marrying Justin and having Matty helped me, but only a little. I understand it better, but I still cannot grasp the full concept of a God who allowed His Son to die because He loved us so very much. A love like that is beautiful, awesome, powerful, and the One who bears it is truly worthy to be not only worshiped, but feared–because I cannot understand it. Not fully.
But I understand it just enough to be awed and amazed and so very, very thankful.