As a rule, I don’t typically add my two cents to political or religious discussion in a public thread on a forum such as Facebook. As any etiquette column will tell you, religion and politics are two things you don’t discuss at the dinner table, and as anyone who has been involved in a political or religious debate knows, when people have opinions they’re passionate about, tempers flare and things are often said in the heat of the moment that the speaker may later regret. Moreover, the person you’re arguing with is easily as passionate about their view as you are about yours, so it’s unlikely that they will see your point at all, let alone rethink their own and change their opinion. Therefore, unless a good friend of mine is involved or there are other special circumstances, I rarely join in, or say more than a few words.
But, once in awhile, something strikes my annoying-bone (it’s on the other side of the funny-bone for those of you who weren’t sure) and I can’t help but express an opinion.
I saw this picture on Facebook the other day, and I had to say something. I just had to. (I know, that may be indicative of a self-control problem on my part, but that’s not really the point.)
So, I said something along the lines of, “Since this woman opted to take out a loan for her education instead of, for example, taking a few classes at a time and working to pay for it as she went along, or choosing a different career path, my tax dollars should be used to pay for her loan?”
I had more to say. Plenty. Like that she signed a contract, knowing before she did so how long she’d be paying it and at what interest rate (not to mention the absurdly small payments she must be making to not have paid off $26K in 23 years) and that was the choice she made. Or that I went to college and got student loans, and then spent the next two years working two jobs, one in my chosen field (social services, which is dedicated to helping people and is not, by the way, known for its excessive pay scale) and one a slightly-over-minimum-wage job and paying my loans almost completely off. Or that my husband, as well, went to college and took out student loans, and later went on to get his Master’s, for which he also took out student loans, and he has been working as a teacher for the past nine years (another profession dedicated to helping people at a less-than-adequate salary), and we are not asking for anyone to pay off his loans. There were plenty of other things I could have said as well, but I didn’t. All I made was that one simple statement.
The response I got was appalling.
Appalling.
Along with phrases like “stupid, greedily stupid, willfully uninformed ridiculous bigoted” was use of the “F” word, the implication that I was not a human, and the suggestion that I just go and die to make way for people with feelings.
This person then unfriended and blocked me, so I could no longer reference the post or see what else was said about me.
Now, I know that my opinions are strong and not everyone agrees with me, but it does seem to me to be a little on the hypocritical side for someone who is claiming to be compassionate and understanding and feeling to be calling names and saying such horrible things about someone who disagrees with them.
What about you? Anything strike your annoying-bone? Or have you gotten accusations thrown at you that were disproportionate to your comments or expressed opinions?
I would consider the unfriending part a compliment to your intelligence and character. We are swiftly headed down a rabbit hole of entitlement form which there is not return. Great thoughts.
First off, I agree with YOU. Too many people jump into loans and then think someone needs to come help them out when they can’t pay. Um, how about don’t bite off more than you can chew???? Urgh. Then people like my husband and I, who *live within our means* get punished in a way. We don’t get tax breaks and such–why? Because we *didn’t* make stupid decisions. The housing market around her would NOT have crashed if people had done what we did–and *not* upgraded just because the bank was willing to loan us too much.
As for the one who unfriended you–I say let ‘em go. No regrets.
Oh, don’t worry, I in no way regret losing that “friendship.” I would rather not be acquainted with someone who is so incapable of a rational debate that they resort immediately to verbal abuse. A friend with whom I was chatting at the time offered to subdue that person in a verbal smack-down (which my friend would easily have won), and told me not to let it get to me, but as I told him, it didn’t get to me, I was simply sharing the incident because it was so shocking to me.
I’d comment with something more elaborate, but I feel like any time I open my mouth (er…keyboard) about politics or religion, there will be somebody waiting to drag me into an argument and/or attempt to shoot me down with sheer ignorance. Many things annoy me in this spectrum of conversation, but what annoys me most is that I don’t even feel safe talking about political or religious stuff anymore. It irks me to no end that I could take the time and invest a lot of thought into my views on this and that political matter, but somebody will always put more effort into BEING RIGHT, and apparently, that matters more to some people than friendship.
I completely agree! I have no problem disagreeing with people, and on many occasions I have found that even if nothing else my own position was thought through a little more carefully because I had to explain it to someone else. A healthy debate is good, and even necessary sometimes in order to clarify a point, but when it resorts to name-calling and being right for the sake of being right, it’s absolutely useless.
Avily, I have no problem talking religion or politics. Most people don’t mess with me.
And not because I call them names, either–well, usually I don’t! I believe we need to take a bold stand for what is right and good, and not compromise or stay silent in the face of evil.
And I’m quite willing to put my money where my mouth is (what little bit I have left)!
Last night, I posted about a political situation in my current city of residence, Lincoln, Nebraska. I’m having difficulty even getting readers, but it’s important that people from Lincoln read it. I think those who run across the link are freaking out at the title, but–y’know, I could have called it so much worse! it’s a nasty subject that needs to be addressed and acknowledged without getting obscene… I worked very hard to avoid being obscene!
AND I didn’t want to mislead people as to what it’s about. I expect some of the people who read it will be nauseated when they’re done. I hope they’re nauseated enough to take a stand in their own cities and towns when this movement arrives there, even if they’re not from Lincoln!
If you want to see what I’m talking about, here’s the link: http://krystisbooks.blogspot.com/2012/05/johnnys-really-big-booger-modern.html
If you happen to know someone from Lincoln, Nebraska who needs to read this, please will you share it with them and make sure that they read it? Because the consequences of not caring enough to do something about it are going to really cost us! And I think that most decent people have just gotten tired of fighting the fight, y’know? They’ve forgotten why they should care. As yet, there is nothing effectively organized to fight this.
Wow. That is appalling. Especially since it sounds like it was your “friend” who said that about you, not one of their friends who doesn’t know you from Eve.
Well, I have a lot of contacts and people on my “friends” list that I don’t actually know. This person was on my friends list but it was not someone I’ve had any actual relationship with.
I agree with you completely, Avily. In fact those very thoughts went through my mind when I saw a reference to student loans and the demand for help in repaying (or even forgiveness of the loan). I’m just sorry you didn’t go ahead and post what you have said here, but, as you said, no one is likely to change their minds about something they’re passionate about – especially those who base their arguments on unproven rhetoric.