[BEGIN MUSIC. CLICK IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY LOADED THE SONG]
“If you had been a better father, your daughter wouldn’t have run away and gotten into trouble. If you had loved her more, she wouldn’t have sought love elsewhere. If you had been a better father, your son wouldn’t have had to go help. Instead, you went back to your beer. You failed your daughter by not being there. You failed your son by not doing the job yourself. At least I was there when they died. Where were you? They died slowly and painfully as the car burned to the ground, screaming for help that wouldn’t arrive. Does that help?”
William caressed the gun like a newborn baby.
“And your wife couldn’t take it, could she? She was an emotional wreck. She needed you to be strong. She needed you to comfort her. But did you? No. You comforted the alcohol instead.” The man put his hand over William’s hand on the gun. “At least she left you plenty of bullets, my friend.”
William looked up to the faint red stain on the wall next to him, streaked from scrubbing with bleach.
“You see?” said the man in black. “It was your fault. Go to them now… apologize. It’s the right thing to do. It’s only fair.”
William started shaking.
“Yes… it’s time. Do it.”
William lifted the gun, his whole arm lurching. He screamed.
“DO IT!”
William dropped the gun on the table.
The man in black stood and leaned into William’s face and shouted. “What’s wrong with you? Do you enjoy misery? Do you enjoy blood on your hands? You’re worthless! You’re a fool! You’re a waste of a human being! End this… put the world out of the misery of your existence, before you kill someone else. It’s the only honorable thing to do. Blow your brains out. End the pain. DO IT!”
William started to convulse. He grabbed the end of the table and shook it, screaming as loud as he could. The contents of the table slid away and crashed to the floor… including the gun.
“Idiot. Pick it up! What’s wrong with you? You’re a disgrace. You can’t even kill yourself with dignity. You’re a failure at everything. Pick it up! NOW!”
William fell to the ground weeping. He crawled beneath the table for a moment. When he stood he held two items, the gun and a package. As he sat, he placed them both before him.
“What’s that?” asked the man.
William pulled off an envelope taped to the package and opened it. He pulled out a card that read, “Happy Father’s Day” on the front.
The man in black huffed. “Father’s Day was last month. This is a waste of your time. Finish this… finish it before you lose the nerve.”
William opened the card and a letter fell out.
“Don’t read that,” said the man. “It’s from a dead person. It will do you no good. Just pick up the gun and let’s end this. I’m here with you. We’re doing this together, remember? Forget the letter.”
William grabbed the letter and opened it. The man crossed his arms and paced. As William read, somehow he found more tears. At the end, he slammed the letter down, took up the package, and tore through the wrapping.
my dearest Kevin,
very powerful scenario!
I feel like I’m showing bias by posting a comment here, since I got to preview the story
. But, gonna say it anyway: Good job, Keven!
Ahh, but you read an early draft, and I don’t think you got to experience it in the glory of multimedia!
Remind me again why you picked me to joing this group, Keven?
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The posts lately…….
Not sure why you insisted on the music. I think it would be better and stronger without the distraction of that repetitive noise. Good story though.
For me music heightens the experience. I can’t write effectively unless I have music playing. And I often plug earbuds in while I read. I wanted to present this story as an experiment to see how others viewed the integration of music and printed words.
Of course, I am a musician. So maybe that explains it.
Music inspires me, but usually when reading or writing the only kind of music I can listen to are those without lyrics such as what you gave us a link to.
It certainly did heighten the experience for me, that’s for sure.
I am the exact opposite when I write. . I like the silence. For this, I simply turned the music down to a whisper. Great job, Iguana.
I prefer silence when I write too. I listened to the music because Keven asked me to, but I turned it off when it got so repetitive and annoying. LOL The end of the story was so much better without the noise. But I’m sure there are more people who like music and feel like Keven does about it being “enhancing” than there are people like me who can’t multi-task. I’m not a music hater, but I only listen in the car, and only if I know where I’m going (if I’m lost, the music is the first thing I shut off, then I threaten passengers) . I have very narrow tastes in what I like too. Has to be CD, not radio, because radio has too many songs I don’t like and no “skip” feature.
I’m crying like a baby, and I have the music turned up. It repeats but it changes, too, like the tempo of the story. Most excellent. You just have to keep pushing that envelope, don’t you?
Thank you for sharing, Iguana.
Thank you, Turtle. I’m glad you enjoyed it. And I’m especially glad you “got” the music. I chose it specifically for the reason you mentioned!
Wonderful
Well done. Very chilling.